


Fusions

by lunadesangre



Category: Actor RPF, Oz (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-13
Updated: 2011-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-20 12:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/212651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunadesangre/pseuds/lunadesangre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>From an outside point of view, Dean has always found it some strange mixture of funny, scary and fascinating, how an actor can completely disappear behind a character.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fusions

From an outside point of view, Dean has always found it some strange mixture of funny, scary and fascinating, how an actor can completely disappear behind a character. (Sometimes, though, the actor peeks through, as if by accident; Dean knows that it’s the case with him: sometimes, no matter how hard he tries, he can’t help being Dean Winters underneath, and, he thinks, it _shows_.)

Of everyone he ever played, it’s Ryan he disappears behind the most. Almost completely, in fact: playing (being?) Ryan is overwhelming. Maybe it’s _Oz_ , maybe it’s the character, maybe it’s facing _Scott_ in such an inescapably sinking horror, or a mixture of it all, Dean can never quite figure it out. One thing that’s true, though, is that Cyril scares him. Scares him beyond any compare, in such an all-encompassing way it makes everything but those childlike eyes, that raw innocence - trapped in such a world of violence - completely fade away. He has to force himself to remember - that Scott is still there, that Cyril isn’t real. That he’s not Ryan. Because when Scott disappears like that, becomes so utterly and completely Cyril it’s like he never even existed, Dean disappears as well, and there’s only Ryan left. And when he breaks down, looking at _his little brother like that_ , he doesn’t know who he is. It’s only the _cut_ and Scott reappearing - amused, exasperated, slightly touched - that puts him right again. Dean Winters, actor, not in jail. He feels Ryan’s sigh of relief like his own, as if waking up from a nightmare.

(Outside, under the sky, joking with Scott, he feels Ryan still, moving under his skin like his own soul - relieved and awed and grateful - with a renowned thirst for life, out there free with his happy, unhurt little brother.)


End file.
